It’s not too late.

Sorry guys, it’s just that I had a little bit of a freak-out moment there. I thought that maybe I had accidentally slept for about 50 hours and missed a couple of entire days. I have stuff to do this weekend, too: I’m supposed to be going up to Vail tomorrow to spend the weekend there with my mom and brother, and so missing a few days would have obviously thrown a big fat old wrench into those plans, grinding them to a rusty halt so that I’d have to call a mechanic just to get them working again, and yes, he would eventually find that it was just a wrench in the works, but by that time it would of course be too late. The damage has already been done, we are thousands of units behind, and it’s all your fault, you lousy wrench thrower, you!

In any case, I’ve now confirmed that it is indeed still only the 2nd day of July. If you must know what it is that confused me, well then I’ll tell you right now. There have been fireworks going off around my house all day long. Now see, it is my understanding that in America, the custom is to celebrate our Independence Day by blowing crap up. Just so we’re clear, I’m not claiming to understand why this is the custom, but it is. The thing that caused me problems is that our Independence Day falls on the 4th of July, and not a day earlier. The reason I’m sure I’m remembering the correct day is that a majority of Americans can’t be bothered to remember all the syllables in the word “Independence,” and so instead refer to the holiday itself as the “4th of July.”

So I guess what I’m wondering now is, why are there fireworks going off now if it’s not even the right day? My first thought is that maybe my neighbors have just forgotten which day that they were meant to be set off; but as I mentioned before, if they are true Americans they’d probably sooner forget the day on which the Anniversary of September 11th falls. My next thought is that maybe they’re foreign; but no, the greater Boulder area is about as ethnically diverse as a yodeling festival. Maybe they are in fact so patriotic that one day just isn’t enough time to express just how much they love their country? Maybe. Or maybe fireworks are just so mind-bendingly awesome that they don’t care that it isn’t the right day yet.

Ah the firework. Nothing more embodies the greatness that is America. What other country could boast consumers that would drive miles and miles across desert wasteland to a place like Wisconsin just to spend hundreds of dollars on something so utterly, utterly useless? I mean let’s really examine what a firework does. You light it, and then it blows up. Once. That’s all. Don’t get me wrong now, I suffer from the same innate pyromania as does the next person, but come on. They’re seriously not that cool, you guys. And guess what? If you really really must see something blowing up on the 4th then there are countless free shows all over the country where they blow up things that are infinitely cooler-looking than anything you could possibly get your hands on, no matter how much you’re willing to spend. And if that’s not enough to satiate your hunger for pyrotechnics, then you can always put CDs and coffee-stirrers in your microwave when you get home to save some money.

All I’m asking for, in these times of instant gratification, is a little patience. People are forgetting that anticipation is an important part of the holiday dynamic. If fireworks are really enough to cause you and your ritalin-blooded monsterettes to cream your collective pants, then just think about how much more your family will enjoy them if you all wait just a few more days until such time as you are meant to see and enjoy them. This is how you create events, one-time experiences that live on in memory. This is how your holidays can be special.

Oh yeah also, fireworks were invented by the Chinese. So if you buy them, you’re a damn Communist and you’re helping them buy up our oil companies. The Red Menace lives again! Calibrate your nukes! Wanna see a REALLY big explosion??? Go America!!!!!!

No, your lunch is fine! April Fools Muthafukka! Oh yeah, I got you good.

You should have seen the look on your face. You were all, “Oh my God!” and you were all thinking about what you were going to do for lunch now that you didn’t have one. Haha it was so funny!!

Seriously though, I ran over your dog and/or grandmother.

For my wintr vakashun, I flew home to Colerado.

I met Charly the dog. He wanted to HAVE SEX with me. Just then Chris saved the day. Chris is a hero of our generation.

For Chrismas I got a camra. I took some pictures.

Then we went to Wiskonsen. I saw my family. I saw my Granny. She is sick. She told me stories about her life. Then we were happy.

But then we had to go. We were sad.

I went to Matt’s howse for New Year’s Eve. Hooray it is 2004! There were lots of people there. But not Andres.

Then I went to bed. I slept for 3 days. I was woke up by a strange noise.

Then I went to Matt’s cabin in the mountens. We played games. I lost.

I ate at good restrants. I watched good movies. I lookd at some pictures. Chris and Darren came over and we ate pizza and watched foot ball. Then we had a intelecshuel conversashun.

Then it was time to say goodby. I ate dinner with my old family to say goodby.

Finaly I came to Bosten again. It was very cold. I died.

The End

It wasn’t too many years ago that we would sit down to Thanksgiving dinner, and before we ate we would go around the table and be forced to say something that we were thankful for before we could eat anything. I don’t know if anyone else has this problem, but I hate being put on the spot, especially about things like this where everyone has already said “I’m thankful for the food!” and “I’m thankful for friends and family!” and “I’m thankful for being here with you all today!” I am the sort of person who wants to say something heartfelt and original, but whose mind on these particular occasions goes completely AWOL. So what ends up getting said are things like: “I’m thankful for ….” ::glances around room:: “my Nintendo!!” or “I’m thankful for my talent,” which draw the customary mumbles of “Oh, that’s a good one,” but are obviously causing thoughts of “What a brat,” and “What a pompous asshole,” respectively.

I think the problem that I have with the holiday is not that I’m not thankful for all the subjects of those aforementioned stock answers; nor does it have anything to do with those Native-American massacres that took place after the First Thanksgiving that we all reproduced at some point during kindergarten. Not the massacres, the feast. You know what I mean.

No I think that the fact that we have such a holiday speaks to a societal problem: that it is normal to go about your business and take everything for granted for 364 days out of the year. In America, it’s acceptable to focus on the things that we don’t yet have, to toil away to try and acquire these things, so long as we take 1 day out of the year to remember that we actually have a lot of things already. To me it speaks to the greed that is built into our society.

I’m rather glad that on Thanksgiving Day I don’t feel any more or less thankful than I do on any other day of the year. I think that I don’t take those stock answers for granted most of the time.

The food: I definitely don’t take food for granted. I have it set up so that I run out of food about every week and have to walk to the Supermarket in the cold to get more. I absolutely don’t have it as tough as our hunter-gatherer ancestors, but it’s still an inconvenience. But it has given me a certain amount of satisfaction to have to keep myself fed this year. In fact, I devoted a whole blog entry to food just a few weeks ago, if you don’t believe that I think about it.

The family: Perhaps this was one thing that I took for granted when I was younger. But I specifically remember a few times when I was at CU thanking my lucky stars that I had a relatively stable family to support me through tough times. Nowadays, my family is fragmented, but I still have been trying to show an appreciation for where I came from through genealogical research and the like. So I think that I appreciate family more than perhaps I let on at times.

The friends: I’ve always been a person who prefers to have a few close friends rather than copious what I feel are superficial acquaintances. The result is that I don’t have that many people that I would call friends, but I feel that those that I do have I appreciate a whole lot more. I’ve tried to stay in touch with many of you that I know from high school and before despite the forces of life pulling us apart. Anyway, perhaps you’ll understand from this why I’ve done things like set up this weblog and harass you on AIM all the time

And as for this Thanksgiving, mine was nice, even without people to spend it with. I had a nice dinner and watched a bunch of football. So don’t cry for me! Not that you were anyway, but still.

The one thing that I am thankful for at this time of year that I’m not the rest of the year is the fact that it is a holiday and I have time to catch up on my schoolwork! Yay!! So now I have to go back to reading and composing, and hopefully I can get all caught up by Monday.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday!! Until next time…

Veteran’s Day is tomorrow, the most solemn of holidays. It is a time of year when I like to give thanks to those who have made our nation great. So many people have given their lives over the years for the greater good. Countless soldiers, who have been marched unwittingly to their untimely demise; untold hundreds of thousand of MILLIONS of people who, at the command of our gracious democratic government, have been shot, blown up, maimed, gassed, tortured, stabbed, wounded, and killed, so as to attain the legendary status of martyrdom, but more to the point, to champion one simple, and yet infinitely wonderful cause: to give me a day off to catch up on all this damn schoolwork in which I’ve fallen hopelessly behind.

God bless you, my fallen brethren.