O long has it been a dream of mine that I may join the ranks of the Hollywood elite in lockstep as we march side by side towards the completion of Great Feats of Entertainment. Never had it entered my mind that one day I might climb to the pantheon of the industry, and be granted the opportunity to work on Feats that may be recognized superlatively by the great powers of the industry that be.
Lo, my friends, just such a day has arrived, on the day of the bestowing of the 34th Annual Golden Raspberry Awards. A Madea Christmas, a film that I had the extraordinary honor to be a part of, was well represented in the nominations, with six in total: Worst Screen Combo, Worst Screenplay, Worst Supporting Actor, Worst Actress, Worst Director, and the coveted Worst Picture award.
I will pause here to mention that I made a film in 2013 on my iPhone of myself flexing in a mirror that is objectively worse than any of this year’s Worst Picture nominees, and it didn’t even receive so much as a mention on the pre-nomination ballot. Not that I’m bitter. But I digress.
The only question remaining was, would this film win in any of the categories? And more importantly, would I be able to add the words “Award-winning” to my alluringly vague résumé?
Sad to say, the film did not take home the Worst Picture award; it was beaten out (undercut?) by Movie 43.
However, the film did take home one RAZZIE: Worst Actress for Tyler Perry’s performance in the title role.
I am so, so excited that a project that I worked on is garnering so much recognition in Hollywood. What does one do after such a prestigious honor? Well there’s only one thing to do: try my best to take what I’ve learned in 2013, and use that newfound knowledge and experience to make an even worse movie in 2014.