In This Blog, I Fix Unemployment

“The vast majority of these 30 million people we’re talking about, they work every day. Some of them work two jobs.” — President Obama, Washington D.C., 25 Feb., 2010

“That’s good, beacause I work three jobs, and I feel like I contribute.” — Woman speaking to President Bush in Omaha, 4 Feb, 2005

It seems as the idea of town hall meetings gains popularity in today’s politics, a product of our political leaders attempting to convey that they are connected with and are listening to the constituents of our great country, that there is always at least one single mother, struggling to make ends meet and feed her family, who steps in front of the mic and proclaims to the world that she is working two jobs. Generally she is lauded and declared a shining example of the American spirit: to always strive and persevere in the face of adversity.

It makes me sick.

Controversy swirls day after day about the sagging economy and the high unemployment rate. People are still losing their jobs and continue to be unable to find work. Fingers are pointed. We are losing jobs because large businesses are taking advantage of cheap labor in India. Illegals are crossing the border and stealing jobs from rightful U.S. citizens. But perhaps the problem isn’t so far away from home as we initially thought.

Let’s look at the numbers. The unemployment rate currently sits at 9.2%. Meanwhile, 5.2% of Americans are currently working more than one job. So, to be on the generous side by assuming each of those Americans is working just two jobs, if we were to take their second job and give it to the unemployed, it would immediately slash the unemployment rate to 4%, which, according to most economic models, is an acceptable rate of unemployment.

To look at it another way, about 1/20 of Americans are currently bogarting nearly 1/5 of the jobs. Does this seem fair to you? I think it exposes a serious problem with the distribution of jobs in this country.

I think what we should do is turn our focus from the logistically complex issues of illegal immigration and business regulation, and go after the issue of limiting the selfish among us to only one job. Comparatively, it would be a much simpler issue to tackle, and would have a appreciable effect on the economy.

That’s right, single mother of four. That’s right, father who is trying to support his ailing wife and two children. We are coming for your extra jobs. Time to stop hogging and share for the good of America.


  1. Yes, that makes sense… But what about those who are underpaid and cannot live off of the income of one job (because we don’t get health insurance, or whatever it might be) so have to find additional employment? Or what about the fact that some employers, including academic institutions, prefer to hire part time employees because they don’t offer them insurance, or can cut their benefits to almost nothing, so that those .50 or .25 FTEs have to go elsewhere to help make ends meet?

    • Yes, exactly, those are the people I am talking about, selfish bastards. We will redistribute their jobs too. Good examples.

  2. Brilliant! I knew a guy back in Appleton who worked three jobs. His 12 yr old son had some debilitating disease. His wife only worked part-time to cut down on the cost of caring for the little bugger, so that selfish bastard of a father went out and got THREE JOBS! That’s practically terrorism!

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